Monday, December 20, 2010

In more ways than one----> I . am. Done. I am done with five classes, 13 hour study days, and I am done with chemotherapy! This means I have completed one of the most difficult chapters of my life. Now that I am done with chemotherapy, I have come to realize how ugly a physical journey it had been.
I am going to never take for granted the days I can think clearly, feel emotions, see straight, laugh, and remember things! Life can be good. Three weeks ago a wonderful thing happened--MY PERIOD! --I know...why am I excited about my period? If you remember reading before, I maintained a temporary menopause with a shot called Lupron. This helped protect my ovaries during the chemo. When I ended chemo, I ended the Lupron. So I have been waiting for my period to start. I was a little worried that I had permanent menopause from the chemo--but no such thing! I am back to cramps and PMS, and I am happy to be dealing with it.
Back in November, I help organize a fundraiser. It was called "Lupusoid". Tons of people came to eat, buy donated-wonderful-awesome art, listen to music and tip Matt at the bar-we raised about 2500 bucks! Besides the money, just the immense amount of love and support I felt was beautiful. It made me realize how much I locked myself away during this journey with Lupus. Most of my classmates and those in my community had no idea what I was going through. I really had shut down. I blame it on myself and my struggle with dealing with the chemicals in my body.
BUT Now, I have laughed to tears almost everyday. I haven't done this in a long time! I also have not been sick-hospital or doctors- since I started my treatments! My kidneys are almost functioning normally..Yeah!
This is perfect timing for the Holiday Cheer! I wish everyone and anyone peace, health, and love these holidays and through the New Year. Thank you for reading and consistently making me feel loved. It really helped to have a space to freely talk about my experiences.

with love and gratitude--
Mia g.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Updatin' Ya'll

**For Fun and Some Passion while reading, Play the Chevala Vargas You Tube video below this post before going on****

I have finished my time with Chemotherapy. I still have to head to Ann Arbor for treatments, but they will no longer consist of the Cytoxan. I should feel relieved and accomplished. But that feeling has yet to come.

I am enjoying the weeks free of the debilitating (such an extreme word! I didn't know how else to frame it) side effects of the Cytoxan. I am still feeling the loveliness of the Lupron (menopause). I have recently acquired a little more facial hair then I would like! I know that is a lot to share and all. But I feel like sharing the whole truth. My body is different from week to week. Some effects go and some take their place.

I am starting to feel really behind in school from the days of Cytoxan. I wrote earlier about my luck running out, I am feeling that time might be soon.I had to drop my internship due to feeling so behind. For those not familiar with law school, we only have one test per class at the end. So, you never really know exactly how you are progressing. It is based on feelings and feedback from professors. Lots and Lots of studying. I am not sure how I am going to live my life around feeling so brain dead at times, but I will learn, and you will all be the first to know how I figure it all out!

Well, I am off to bury myself in my books.
Mia G.

Un mundo raro

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I'm feeling like this right now. I always feel on top of the world, (or in this photo-atop the Lawrence, Kansas hills) before I go to Ann Arbor for my sessions. I try to live it up on these days. For example, I organized my bills, plants, room,smiled more and tried to catch up with some folks (CrAzzzy, I know! lol) I think I even skipped some stairs with a lil hop today. Of course, I also went to school & read for my classes,etc. Enjoy the sunset while you can <3

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sweating for no reason

Hot Flashes have become part of my daily routine. I don't know if I will ever used to them. It's hard to share the experience because it usually doesn't happen till we are much older! But here is an idea...(exaggerated a bit!)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Yesterday was a good day of chemotherapy. I watched a movie and they finally got my vegetarian lunch just right. Not so shabby,eh? After it is all over, I pretty much drop off the face of the earth in so far as I fall asleep or become really disorientated basically not remembering much. I am grateful to the Sackmanns who let me lay down at their place and Matt who wakes me up every 3 hours to take my post chemo medications. This is what I look like in the car ride on the way back from Ann Arbor (where I receive my treatments), hahaa...

When I wake up at times on the ride home, I see this image of Matt because he forgot his sunglasses and had to use mine. What is so funny about this is, I won't remember this image for days, then it will POP in my head and I laugh!

My first two weeks of law school have been nuts! But in the end I feel very privileged to be achieving my career goals. This is my first time doing chemo + school, so we will see how it goes! Have a good three day weekend everyone!!!

Loving what I have, Share it with me now.

Fall is around the corner. This is my favorite time of the year! I feel like falling in love with everything I see and smell. Toledo Fall is the time I feel like I am in Kansas (home) the most. The air smells wonderful and the trees look beautiful! These are some images I am looking forward to seeing again this year. Chickens, pumpkins, Gary (my little brother), Isabelle (pretty much my little sister) loving their surroundings, and the kids from across the street playing in the leaves. These are the times I am grateful for my health and that I can see and feel everything. Sometimes it may be a struggle to see through the fogginess, but I know it all be there for me when I am ready.