In more ways than one----> I . am. Done. I am done with five classes, 13 hour study days, and I am done with chemotherapy! This means I have completed one of the most difficult chapters of my life. Now that I am done with chemotherapy, I have come to realize how ugly a physical journey it had been.
I am going to never take for granted the days I can think clearly, feel emotions, see straight, laugh, and remember things! Life can be good. Three weeks ago a wonderful thing happened--MY PERIOD! --I know...why am I excited about my period? If you remember reading before, I maintained a temporary menopause with a shot called Lupron. This helped protect my ovaries during the chemo. When I ended chemo, I ended the Lupron. So I have been waiting for my period to start. I was a little worried that I had permanent menopause from the chemo--but no such thing! I am back to cramps and PMS, and I am happy to be dealing with it.
Back in November, I help organize a fundraiser. It was called "Lupusoid". Tons of people came to eat, buy donated-wonderful-awesome art, listen to music and tip Matt at the bar-we raised about 2500 bucks! Besides the money, just the immense amount of love and support I felt was beautiful. It made me realize how much I locked myself away during this journey with Lupus. Most of my classmates and those in my community had no idea what I was going through. I really had shut down. I blame it on myself and my struggle with dealing with the chemicals in my body.
BUT Now, I have laughed to tears almost everyday. I haven't done this in a long time! I also have not been sick-hospital or doctors- since I started my treatments! My kidneys are almost functioning normally..Yeah!
This is perfect timing for the Holiday Cheer! I wish everyone and anyone peace, health, and love these holidays and through the New Year. Thank you for reading and consistently making me feel loved. It really helped to have a space to freely talk about my experiences.

with love and gratitude--
Mia g.

Updatin' Ya'll

**For Fun and Some Passion while reading, Play the Chevala Vargas You Tube video below this post before going on****

I have finished my time with Chemotherapy. I still have to head to Ann Arbor for treatments, but they will no longer consist of the Cytoxan. I should feel relieved and accomplished. But that feeling has yet to come.

I am enjoying the weeks free of the debilitating (such an extreme word! I didn't know how else to frame it) side effects of the Cytoxan. I am still feeling the loveliness of the Lupron (menopause). I have recently acquired a little more facial hair then I would like! I know that is a lot to share and all. But I feel like sharing the whole truth. My body is different from week to week. Some effects go and some take their place.

I am starting to feel really behind in school from the days of Cytoxan. I wrote earlier about my luck running out, I am feeling that time might be soon.I had to drop my internship due to feeling so behind. For those not familiar with law school, we only have one test per class at the end. So, you never really know exactly how you are progressing. It is based on feelings and feedback from professors. Lots and Lots of studying. I am not sure how I am going to live my life around feeling so brain dead at times, but I will learn, and you will all be the first to know how I figure it all out!

Well, I am off to bury myself in my books.
xo-
Mia G.

Un mundo raro

I'm feeling like this right now. I always feel on top of the world, (or in this photo-atop the Lawrence, Kansas hills) before I go to Ann Arbor for my sessions. I try to live it up on these days. For example, I organized my bills, plants, room,smiled more and tried to catch up with some folks (CrAzzzy, I know! lol) I think I even skipped some stairs with a lil hop today. Of course, I also went to school & read for my classes,etc. Enjoy the sunset while you can <3

Sweating for no reason

Hot Flashes have become part of my daily routine. I don't know if I will ever used to them. It's hard to share the experience because it usually doesn't happen till we are much older! But here is an idea...(exaggerated a bit!)

Yesterday was a good day of chemotherapy. I watched a movie and they finally got my vegetarian lunch just right. Not so shabby,eh? After it is all over, I pretty much drop off the face of the earth in so far as I fall asleep or become really disorientated basically not remembering much. I am grateful to the Sackmanns who let me lay down at their place and Matt who wakes me up every 3 hours to take my post chemo medications. This is what I look like in the car ride on the way back from Ann Arbor (where I receive my treatments), hahaa...


When I wake up at times on the ride home, I see this image of Matt because he forgot his sunglasses and had to use mine. What is so funny about this is, I won't remember this image for days, then it will POP in my head and I laugh!



My first two weeks of law school have been nuts! But in the end I feel very privileged to be achieving my career goals. This is my first time doing chemo + school, so we will see how it goes! Have a good three day weekend everyone!!!

Loving what I have, Share it with me now.

Fall is around the corner. This is my favorite time of the year! I feel like falling in love with everything I see and smell. Toledo Fall is the time I feel like I am in Kansas (home) the most. The air smells wonderful and the trees look beautiful! These are some images I am looking forward to seeing again this year. Chickens, pumpkins, Gary (my little brother), Isabelle (pretty much my little sister) loving their surroundings, and the kids from across the street playing in the leaves. These are the times I am grateful for my health and that I can see and feel everything. Sometimes it may be a struggle to see through the fogginess, but I know it all be there for me when I am ready.

I'm feeling frozen. My head is spinning and the world keeps on a-moving. I think this is the hardest to grapple with. There are some days I feel odd and need to sit down, but of course, time, people, places keep happening.
I am starting to wonder if my luck is going to run out. I start back at school on Monday. I have five courses, co-vp of an organization, and I hope to land an internship. Plus, my sessions every two weeks during this semester. Please oh Please, I hope I make it! I am dreaming that one day this will be a faint memory and I will be laughing around the table with friends over wine and dinner, "Remember that time..?" kind of thing.
On a cheery note, I bought a sewing machine at the Old West End Festival this summer. So far, I have hemmed up a dress (if that is what you call it) and I made something! I had been scouring the internet for a hip pill container to no avail. So, I made a holder of sorts. I love to use old yarn for things and find fabric at goodwill. This is what I managed.



I love being crafty, but I am not really the most talented. But, it is really fun! Hope everyone is enjoying the last tidbits of their summer, bring on the Fall!

Missing Costa Rica

I'm baack! Fresh off the boat from Costa Rica! Matt and I had two weeks of spontaneous adventures in the most beautiful country. We started off in San Jose and then headed to the Caribbean Coast, Cahuita & Puerto Viejo. We snorkeled, saw a shark!, hiked in the jungle, hike to a waterfall, saw a baby monkey and swam in the ocean everyday!



After a week in the Caribbean, we took a whole day to travel to the mountains. Here the we traded the sun for the Bosque Nuboso (cloud forests). We hiked for hours in the forest! It was absolutely breathtaking. Next, we did something I thought I'd never do...canopy tours! We zip lined 400 feet above the ground, and over 1000 feet on one the lines! At first I was terrified looking down the line high above the trees, but then with some encouragement from Matt and the tour guy, I did it! At one point, they let us go together. It was scary and wonderful. Matt and I couldn't see the end of the line because of the clouds!

Overall, it was a unforgettable time. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes!!

Fancy Photo, by Matt, during my chemo session

Look at those chipmunk cheeks! Give 'em a squeeze ;) It's a common side effect of the steroids that I take. I can't wait to get off of them! I eat like a bear and I have a temper often like one too.

Hot Flashes and Costa Rica

Hello All,

So, I decided to start a blog. I'm not sure if anyone will read it, but I though it was a great way to stay in touch.

As you all know I have just been diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Nephritis. I won't get into the details, as a lot of you have the internet (http://tinyurl.com/2afpxxu) or me to ask! I really want this blog to be about my journey and my experiences; not just boring medical information.

Okay, so we will start with my brief Lupus update:Today was my first day of chemotherapy/cytoxan (http://tinyurl.com/2ej7l8b) treatment. A lot of folks were surprised that I needed this sort of "cancer" treatment. Chemotherapy is used for many different diseases, particulary I need it for my kidney failure. It went well. I felt pretty exhausted and out of it. But all together-just fine. Next, I am recieving what's called "Lupron", it's a shot. I get to start a temporary Menopause! Yeah! :) This temporary menopause will protect my ovaries during my cytoxan treatment. Yes Yes, this means no periods (awesome!), hot flashes, and hormonal craziness! I will be doing hormonal replacement next year. It feels weird. But all of this will keep my ol' ovaries safe and able to get pregnant in the near future.

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Now, exciting stuff! Matt(my love) and I will be embarking on our Costa Rica Adventure approximately 3am August 1st 2010. I have not had a real vacation in years. I have been sick for every vacation time since August of last year. I cannot explain how much I am looking forward to the sweet release of the stress and just love my environment. No law school, no phones, no computers, no Toledo! The last time I really felt this release was with Marita in our Eastern Europe Adventures.

Well, I do not want my first blog to be forever long. I will be adding photos, a better background real soon. Please feel free to make suggestions, comment. I am sending you this link because I care about you. I care what you have say. I hope it will give some an opportunity to re-connect.

Till then!

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